Podcast: Becoming a King with Morgan Snyder
I am deeply honored to bring to you a man who is living on a path of wholeheartedness and Kingdom living and believes “desire reveals design, and design reveals destiny.”
What are you designing?
Are you designing a life worth living?
What do you desire?
Are your desires pointed towards the right destiny?
Morgan Snyder has been on staff with John Eldredge and the Wild at Heart team for two decades. This is how he describes his life’s mission on his website.
“Make no mistake, this is for the few.
Become Good Soil, the comprehensive apprenticeship track for the mission of Wild at Heart. It is a gateway to the quest to recover the path and process of masculine initiation.”
You can find Morgan Snyder and his work over at https://becomegoodsoil.com. I highly recommend that you invite men into your life and begin the slow journey of working through his new book Becoming a King: The Path for Restoring the Heart of Man.
Who are the men in your life that are helping you pursue wholehearted living? Living a life that points towards being fully alive? You need a circle of men around you. I have created the Champions Circle for men like you. A circle of like-hearted Kingdom men conquering the growth they set out to achieve at work and home.
If you are looking for a few quick wins to move the needle in your life I invite you to download the free book and guide I have created for men like you. Jump Start: 46 Quick Wins for the Modern Christian Man.
Please see below for an unedited and rough-cut version of the podcast transcription.
Lantz Howard 1:23
man, I’m honored. Morgan, thank you for your time. I know. You’re got a full life like everyone else. So thank you. Oh, yeah, yeah,
Morgan Snyder 1:31
I’m really excited about the work that you’re doing and just reading about your story a little bit, at least its public of how you got there and from for girls in the corporate ladder and and helping people walk the path that you’ve already lived. So I really love just, it’s, it’s my deep joy to go after the hearts of men, out of overflow from a life in God and, and doing family with a whole heart. So yeah, this is my joy. And I’m all in so just any coaching you have that was helpful for your target audience and what would serve you not to mention not not not trying to use a play on words there, but be helpful to you?
Lantz Howard 2:15
Absolutely. No, I’ll do an intro for you last last year, I led a group of guys through becoming a king. So we can have some of that content. I’ve got some of your castration, concentration, and confidence, how men get clarity. So those are some general themes that we can go in.
Morgan Snyder 3:22
we pause to breathe in your strength and your care, your abundance, your courage, or intention. And we breathe out everything that’s holding us back. Everything that we’re afraid of, and everything that baits us into doing life in our own strength. Jesus, we ask for your power to come over Lance and myself. We ask for your anointing. We ask for your favor. We ask for the full force of heaven to build a shield around the physical and spiritual atmosphere in which we’re in. And God we come to you as sons and students and warriors and men who are consenting to becoming the kind of Kings to whom you find the joy and interesting, the stewardship of your kingdom. So God, would you guide us with pace, would you guide us with portion? And God would you? As Lance said that the listeners would actually experience an encounter with you, deep wisdom and deep revelation that comes from the heart of our father, to his sons and to his daughters around the Earth. Come and protect our time and fill it with your love and your life. In Jesus name. Amen,
Lantz Howard 4:50
man. Thank you, Morgan. Yeah, I’m honored to be sitting with you. As a, I guess I consider your yourself a mentee of john Eldridge, and the Wild at Heart team and the banner of that ministry, and the blessing that you you have been about publishing, and getting your own workout as well. So I want to ask you first, cuz I recently kind of heard you say this, and I felt this as well. When the original announcement came about your book, I was like becoming a king. And I just kind of felt that push against me a little bit, because I’m like, naturally, as a man, I’m like, Well, why don’t we have one king? And so I just want to kind of hear your because I know you’ve received that. And you even told your publisher, like, Hey, this is this is the title that I’m going with. So we kind of hope, help unpack the thesis behind becoming a king, because I don’t want people to dismiss out on the fabulous content just based on a title.
Morgan Snyder 6:02
Yeah, yeah, that’s really interesting. And I appreciate that Lance, I would say, desire reveals design, I shared this in the book and design reveals destiny. And I think, what’s really important if we could get to the, the soul of a man, right in the image of God, we were created male and female. And so it’s so important Lance, for all of us to understand that core, every thing is, fashion is created and crafted in the image of God, not his Unix, not as humans but as male and his female. And so to listen to the man part is really essential. And in the earliest story of creation, were invited to rule and reign. It’s a crazy thing, but that the invitation of God is to partner with him to exercise a sort of fierce mastery, a stewardship over portions of his creation. And so I think what’s really important when we talk about kings and kingdoms is that we all have a king. We all have entrusted to our care. No, my son is 17. And he runs a small landscaping business. And he now he first was door to door to the neighbor’s, you know, and mow and grass and shoveling snow. And now he got Ironman football coach, it does renovations and he heard about his work and he said, Hey, come work for me, was really cool. Lance’s over about three weeks. My son’s football coach, notice this guy isn’t just a labor, he’s put his time in. He’s actually developed a sort of fierce mastery over a shovel, and over a pickaxe, and over basic lawncare, but he’s actually ready to lead other men. And so coach pulled him aside and said, hey, I’ve got a project, but I want to put you as crew chief, and I’m handing you the budget, I want you to hire some of the other guys in your world. And so it’s really beautiful answers I’m watching my son’s world is expand. And so it started with giving him a cell phone when he turned 13. And we went through a rite of passage, like Lance in full disclosure, it was a it was a mixed moment. part in want him to have a cell phone, right? I don’t want that much of the world at his fingertips. You know, Albert Einstein said that technology is like a razor blade in the hands of a three year old. That’s a lot of leverage of power. But I also knew Lance that he was ready for it. He was on time in his masculine initiation. And so it’s so beautiful to watch him with his businesses, his kingdom is enlarging. So we all have a kingdom, it begins with our body. It begins with our imagination. It begins with our thoughts and our view of reality, how we make sense of the story in which we live. And it expands to include other people. Like, from you like you if you had four daughters under five, like that is an enormous expansion of a kingdom. And so as image bearers I think what I would say is we are crafted in God’s image images, we are canes on God’s kingdom, whether we like it or not, it’s our design. And so the question where it gets sticky, and I think maybe some of your hesitation to it, is if you look at the headlines, most of our response can be what’s gone wrong. Why has been there’s so much damage and harm caused by men and trusted with power. And so the mission of becoming a king is covered original design to understand what’s gone wrong? And how do we not lose the core imago dei, how do we actually celebrate, we were intended to ruin rain, and that means to exercise God’s person. Gods care and ultimately his intentions, over a realm that He’s inviting us to Stuart. And so the language of kings and kingdoms is essential in recovering what God meant for us, not only in this world, but also in the world to come. That’s
Lantz Howard 10:37
good. That is good. For for a moment, right? Because we, we fill it all around us, right? It doesn’t take long to notice the world is in complete chaos, or what feels like chaos. Much of that is due to the technology that you describe and handing that domain over to your 13 year old son, but also want to unpack as you kind of go there. I’m going to call it your theology of castration. I know it’s not necessarily yours, but some of your original work your original blog post years ago about castration and this idea that we as men have lost this war that’s going on, much impart as you describe in the book to our passive at, or what I describe as the nice guy syndrome, not really speaking up for what we want desire need. So how could you unpack that that essence of castration and help men recover a sense of their chest as well?
Morgan Snyder 11:45
Yeah, it’s a strong word, but it’s actually borrowed from CS Lewis, he wrote a very deep and fantastic book called the abolition of man. And in it, he basically talks about this idea where he says, We castrate gelding and bid them be fruitful. In other words, we take away the function that allows a man to engage to act to move in strength. And then we ask them to be a man. And you can’t remove and demand the function, right? It’s a very visceral picture, right? You can’t rise to the occasion in love, and care on behalf of those in need, if you don’t have the organ, and the capacity to do so. And so I think what we often see in the broken soul of a man, is he takes that heart, that masculine intention, that seed within him. And yeah, right now, it often goes one of two ways. And you’re naming the passivity, right? You get the passive man, the nice guy, or you get the aggressive man, where it’s over done. I was dropping my little daughter off 14 at school today in this guy almost cut me off when I was merging off the freeway. It comes with this huge 350 with Six Flags mounted in the back, okay. It was just like, over done. It didn’t really matter what was on the flags, you could probably guess. But it doesn’t actually matter. It’s almost like he’s shouting to a world. And what I want to say, is son, son, you’re good. It’s okay. Like, you don’t have to shout, what would you like to share with us. But instead, it’s like he’s driving down the road with his middle finger out to everybody. Right? And you know, the feeling is you either want to get big, you want to get bigger than him and say, Well, I got seven flags, or you want to get small, right? And so all of that is rooted in what a man does, with this imago dei, with this essence, like with this image of God written in his soul. And so this idea of being castrated is just naming that Something terrible has happened to the soul of man. And often Lance and I probably you probably see this with all the C suite executives you work with. And frankly, sadly, a lot of senior pastors we interact with in a man is actually often a boy inside a man’s body. It’s a boy with a man bank account. It’s a boy with a man’s title. There’s part of him that has not participated with a path and process of masculine initiation. And so it’s not that he’s not true and good and beautiful in his epicentre, it’s simply that he hasn’t passed through a process of becoming wholehearted and mature. And so you have passive men. You have Angry Men, but what you don’t have is a man that’s reflecting to the world what God meant when he meant masculinity. And so the invitation and to get his heart back to recover the boy on the inside to integrate the whole person in offer a true strength that actually is not in service of answering an unmet question. But instead it’s bringing a strength in action in the service of love to others entrusted to his care. And I’m just curious what you think about that, like, if you see that lived out in the stories of men around you,
Lantz Howard 15:32
oh, without a doubt, I mean, on a personal note, it’s been been true, right? divorced family had to kind of recover some of that identity loss of identity. And as we noted at the beginning, you know, as I turn 30, and then 36, and that sense of the desire to climb a ladder against the wrong wall, but there’s really not even a ladder there. So the story truly, you know, resonates on a personal level. But even as you mentioned, I see many men that I’m serving, you know, whether it’s 5052 55, or the 35 year old, that they seem to be stuck. And a question that I often ask is, to go back to that memory of being stuck and try to frame it as somewhere between eight and 12, six 812. And help them recover and restore that stuckness in the process, and wholeness of Jesus as well. So, it’s very true, it’s more than true. But getting men to go there is a different, different task. So I’d be curious on a on a healthful aspect on a personal aspect for you like what is a, what’s a recent failure or something recent that you’ve noticed inside yourself, that you could share that would be helpful in terms of this process, right, because it’s an ongoing recovery of our soul or as you describe an excavation. So what’s a recent failure that you could point to and in a process that God was trying to do in you?
Morgan Snyder 17:17
Oh, boy, yeah, we are always under renovation. You know, I have a friend sent me, a mentor sent me this picture. He was hiking, and there was a sign in the woods and it said, closed for renovation. And he said, I just want to put that on my office store. Like, world. I apologize. I’m sorry, but I am closed because I’m under renovation, right? Like, so it’s recent. I mean, it’s as recent Okay, so this week, a 14 year old daughter, our youngest to last to go to high school, first day school, right. In the heart of me, like Lance I live, to initiate my son and daughter, his core passion. I believe that families, the epicenter of the kingdom of God, and so I fight for my own heart. And I love and pour a lot into my children, and a lot of restoration work in my marriage. And I live intimately with a few in a band of brothers. And it’s from that reservoir that I, I go out to the world. So I’m pretty engaged as a father. And it’s day one of high school and I want to pray with my daughter and bless her and connect with her. And she wants nothing to do. Right? Because you’re at how old your oldest daughter
Lantz Howard 18:44
oldest is. 11.
Morgan Snyder 18:45
Okay, so you’re not there yet. She probably delights in you and thinks you’re amazing. Do it in because my daughter, my daughter is amazing. But I I’m not really on her radar much. And so the time that I would have loved to pray with her. She was working on her hair and working on a drip, and it’s the first day of school. And she’s late and on and so and I can feel this pull to get big and go to control. Because I know good dads pray for their daughters, right? And that’s what I want to do. And I feel like the energy is actually not love. It’s actually control. And it’s actually I want to feel good as a dad. Okay. And so this is all subconscious. It’s not overt. But if I’m honest, what’s motivating me is shame, and not strength. And so I feel this tug of war of two people in me Lance and one of them wants to choose love and wants to live out my commitment to my daughter that there’s nothing she can do or not do, or say or not say that will cause me to withdraw my delight. That’s the Father’s heart. But I can’t offer what I haven’t lived. And so if I haven’t received that from God, then I need something from her. And so the false self and me the uninitiated, part of me, is pissed off and wants to go to control. And Abigail, we’re going to connect, and I want to hear your heart and I want to pray for you. And I want to, I want to give you some, there’s a lot of big ogres out there, and you need to be on guard and all this stuff that could be kind of guys in love. But actually, the motive is fear or control out of shame. So I know that tug of war, and I’m familiar with the false man in the trimming and so in the car, right, I choose to be quiet, we turn on the country music, that’s what she wants to listen to. I’m praying in my spirit. God, you and me and I and you, you are my home, you’re my life, we are good. I bless my daughter, I’m praying all that my spirit, it’s a quiet drive my some great country tunes from Thomas, right. And then we pull into the school and I say, hey, do you mind if I just pray and bless you. And I’ve been doing that for, you know, seven, eight years. And so she’s she, she’s totally fine with that. Because it’s like the 32nd prayer not to 10 minutes that I would like, right? And she gets out of the car. And here’s the here’s the goal is I’m driving away. And in Lance, when I’m feeling the temptation is you know what, stuff, my disappointment, get my shit together, I got a busy day, I’m balls to the wall, I’ve got a lot of commitments, there’s a lot of pressure on me just shift gears, and basically shut down heart and get to work. But I’ve traveled enough in recovering my masculine soul that I knew, this is the frontier. These are the moments in the everyday frat fabric of ordinary life. And so I just prayed to God, what do you want to say? That’s what he pulled the truck over and cry. That’s what I want you to do. Everything in me didn’t want to do that. But I just knew that that was the act of love, receiving love, and becoming a loving man. And so I pull my truck over in a parking lot, put it in Park, and I just cried for about 90 seconds, and just let God minister to my disappointment to my grief. And in that moment, I can’t really explain it. But something in me was being healed. something in me was being validated. something in me was actually being celebrated, to sense God’s heart. Seeing my choosing love, even though I didn’t do it perfectly, and it was bumpy and messy, I didn’t lose my daughter’s heart, I didn’t lose connection with her, I didn’t lose my connection with God. And then I turned to my world, which is rescuing the hearts of men. And I was able to do it from a place of integrity, rather than a place of just knowing some information but actually not living it. And so I share that story to just model like, it’s in the ordinary fabric of our everyday life. But we have to become students not only of our moment, but also of the story that’s formed us to be the person we are today that we’re bringing to any and every relationship and trusted to our care.
Lantz Howard 23:29
Oh, man, that is a wealth of information and incredibly helpful. here’s, here’s what I’m thinking about Morgan is that and, and so much of my own discovery of being in ministry and even as of here late of talking to guys, much of what you’re describing, is going to be completely foreign, meaning that slowing down intentionally listening to the Spirit’s prompting and leading, trusting that that is Jesus responding in obedience? Because, like what’s obvious, maybe to yourself, somebody that’s been in this path of restoration, you know, for a couple of decades here now or even myself, just growing in this path. It’s, it’s obvious to us but it really becomes magic to other people. So my my question is, is how do you begin to unpack like in simple steps for people to go on this journey? How do you ask them want to consecrate themselves to consider their kingdom consider their domains? And possibly, if you can answer it from like, maybe Morgan, two decades ago, or maybe even the Morgan a decade ago? How would you begin to unpack this and in simple terms, for Somebody’s beginning.
Morgan Snyder 25:02
Yeah, that’s a that’s actually a really helpful question because I believe that just the father is always at work to initiate that is to mature and restore to the hearts of his sons. And so what I love about the question is, if you would ask me that 20 years ago, it would have felt like pressure. And something I’ve got to figure out, whereas now you ask the question, and I smile, because I go, that’s what God’s bout. That’s what God’s up to when you’re sleeping. He is, he is, in joyful anticipation about this choreography, of your masculine initiation of the recovery of your heart. And it begins today, like, every human being, is made the opportunity of an on ramp back to the narrow road, at every moment of every day, a glance, it’s just so helpful to me to just envision that did it every moment, the Holy Spirit as a guy is saying, son, daughter, follow me, come with me. I’ve got I’ve got gifts for you. And so there’s always an access point. And I think what I’d say, you know, we were talking offline. For this, you had taken a group of men through becoming a king. And, and that in some ways, is the fruit of 20 years of seeking out the answer to your question. So I found myself 20 years ago, really hurting like you on the outside, I was killing it, beautiful wife, two amazing kids, you know, professionally successful, and it and yet inside, it was mostly fear. It was scrambling in a sense of, of, I’m behind. And I just knew like, this isn’t the abundant life that the gospel speak of, and I want it and I want to live in a way where God has to show up. And so I’m all in but God, like, where are you? And I was, and I started asking questions that I realized the true apprenticeship in the kingdom of God is shaped by the questions. Jesus teaches with questions, he invites us to ask questions, and I began asking questions to older men. And the fruit of becoming a king was curating and distilling responses to those those questions over 20 years of my masculine initiation. And so what I would invite men to do is first pause, and simply acknowledge God, you’re at the center of the story. Like it’s not up to me. And it’s Forgive me for putting on the pressure that it’s up to me that we live in a God that Dallas Willard says that we live in a god Bates, God breathed, God initiated reality. And that’s really good news that we’re invited into a larger story. And then what I would invite men to do is just start where you are, trust that God is with you that he is orchestrating this, that he the Holy Spirit’s, even in this podcast now as as people are listening, and start with some questions. And some questions I lay out and becoming a king are simply these questions like what’s not working, what’s not working. And you can start with whatever comes to your heart. It may be very practical, like my finances. It might be deeper than that, like my marriage, it but what’s not working? And another important question is, where do I feel behind? And lance? It’s just such a masculine question, because if most men are honest, they could fill a notebook with where we feel behind. Right? I mean, one of my buddies said, You know, I feel behind in my fitness in my marriage, in my finances, I am feel behind in my yard work, like my grass is beating, you know, it’s an incessant feeling of behind and what those questions get to, they begin to excavate. They get us deeper in the layers of the young and deeper excavation to get to this core place of how is my kingdom? How are the things and the people entrusted to my care. And what’s so hopeful about this is we have a father that actually wants to invite us there, not out of disappointment, but actually out of delight, that what he wants to do is meet us right where we are and say, says, Son, like, this isn’t too much for me, this is what I love. I want to I want to care for minister to
shepherd, every age of the person that is kind of your fractured masculine soul, and so he can meet us right there. And so those are kind of some first steps but if a man really wants to do the work, you know, the whole kind of body of work that I have it become good soil calm and becoming a king, the internet tension of that is to create, it’s sort of recovering the ancient path and process to to restore the heart of a man.
Lantz Howard 30:11
That’s good. That’s good. You’ve mentioned a couple of times. And there, there’s a theme in some of these responses, just this this essence of disappointment. And in that disappointment, we have a choice we have a decision to make. And and the false self of a man. Unfortunately, we make unhealthy decisions, you know, that continued to lead to disappointment. But I think it was Larry Crabb in his early work of his inside out book that I remember, you know, that he was painting this picture that if we’re experiencing this disappointment, over and over and over, it means that we’re really digging are well in the wrong place, you know, and he kind of draws this parallel to the woman at the well as men, how can we continue to look at these disappointments and turn them into good? And here’s, here’s my question for you more than being a fan of Bernie brown myself, like yourself, in your book, you mentioned this question. And I want to ask you this question in light of kind of disappointment, because our disappointment, we have an opportunity to decide something different. So the question is, where are you currently Daring Greatly?
Morgan Snyder 31:36
Yeah, that there’s a lot in what you just said, to unpack.
Bernie Brown, Daring Greatly and disappointment. Those are big. So let me just pause and just get to the core question that you asked, Where am I Daring Greatly? I would say, Lance that in this realm of parenting, and how it relates to vocation, you know, most men spend their greatest energy building, what I will call as a kingdom. I was I was looking for a shop. And I was looking at online and I came across tire kingdom. And it was just really funny. Whereas this little little Tech Shop and said, Tiger kingdom, and it just felt like, it’s awesome. But it’s a tiny little kingdom for a big, big name, right? Like, men are incessant builders we built, right. We build bank accounts, we build reputations, we build businesses, like most hearts of itch to get out in the world, it really boils down to three things, I want to make a name for myself, I want to make a little money and I want to get something go. And it doesn’t really matter what the industry is, or whether we put a sacred title on it, or we’re not right. There’s just this core, incessant building. And again, the desire is not wrong. God is a builder, right? He is restoring and establishing a kingdom. He has this generative nature to him. But it goes underground when it’s in service of the faults. And so it’s really important to ask, Bill, and why are you building it. And in like all men, I feel the temptation to build a bank account. I feel the temptation to build a reputation. I feel the temptation to build an organization and a ministry and a mission. And I have to check my motives. And so the truth is in my hidden life in my secret places, God has given me a family, a wife, Sherry to children, and then an extended family and extended redemptive community. And at the end of the day, I believe wholeheartedly Lance it when I stand before God, what I will be first and most accountable to are those closest relationships and trust in my care. Like, I believe that 90% perhaps more of my life in this world will come down to how did I love? How did I love those people closest to me. Now pause. Energy I am tempted to spend on everything outside of my family, right? Where I get it upside down, where I give my best strength to other people in my mission. Now my mission happens to be you know, Christian ministry of vocational ministry fighting for the hearts of men, but it’s regardless of the expression because still my motive can be about building my kingdom, building my reputation, feeling good about myself, because I come to For a lot of people, and I can get my greatest strength outside my home, and then I come home and get my scraps. And so there was a young man coming to our house last night, asking through a joyful little secret to ask my daughter, or her first date for homecoming. And I knew about it, my son knew about it, and my daughter didn’t no surprise, and most nights, I’m aware, if a stranger comes to my house at night, he’s gonna find a tired man. Right? He’s gonna find him in that spend best strength. The truth is in the story of my life, that first encounter with a young man to offer the face of God to my daughter asked for the face of God to him. Like that’s a place I want to be fully engaged in present, but I can’t, if I’ve shot my wad at work, to things that are less important, right, like one wise man said, Never put, you know, things that matter least in front of things that matter, most. And so I am tempted every day to give my best strength to others outside of my home. And I have taken really big risks to not self promote, to not build an earthly kingdom, to not give my greatest strength. Outside of those interests in my care, I’ve self sabotage opportunities to reach many, you know, just give a full disclosure, I was asked to speak to 1000 men that are going through becoming a king and a really big church, that’s a really big deal in some really big world. And the invitation was, am I gonna go do that really big thing and make a name for myself and be a big to
all or am I going to be home for potentially the quarterfinals for my son’s football team, he plays a to a team. It’s a super small program, I don’t think they’ll make the playoffs. But if I have a choice on that weekend in November, to speak to 1000 men that are actually committed to going through becoming a king, or be a nobody in the sixth row the bleachers to witness my son, in the arena at 17. Like I’ll confess, glance, there was a day where I would have taken the speaking gig, there was a death. And now I can tell you with full disclosure, as I prayed for it, God said, What do you want? And I said, I want to change the world. I want to exercise your kingdom. I want to be at my post I want to steward. And, and he said and what have I trusted your care. And and I knew first and foremost, it’s my own heart. And it’s my marriage. And it’s my children. Josh, when Abigail and I had so much joy, I could feel the false self being crucified. And I had so much joy saying I would love to speak to your man. But I’m unavailable because there’s a chance my son’s going to be in playoffs. And I only get one lap around this track. And I am all in for that kid, he needs to hear his dad going crazy. And I’m like emotional, or telling that story. Because it’s so costly to the ego. But I’ve become the kind of person that it’s so settled in my heart, that that’s what I want. And when I die, and the stories are told about my impact, it’s not the people that listen to the podcast that I’m most concerned about, though I want to love and walk in integrity. It’s what my wife and what my kids have to say about the man that I had become.
Lantz Howard 38:37
Yeah. Well, thank you, Morgan, for that, that courage to make that decision. I mean, that’s, that’s not an easy decision to make. And I know you’re faced with those often. So I could only imagine. And the reality is, is that as is a common occurrence, you know, to sacrifice the something that in like, you describe the perception of bigger or greater for what seems insignificant, but I think most men would resonate with what I’m about to say when when COVID started last year, March, April, May, June, all the sudden this idea of building and everybody’s sitting around asking this question like who who am I? Right? Right. All of a sudden, we have a golden opportunity to like double down and own what is ours to do. And and we are with the people we love and cherish the most or we hope to be so one of my greatest fears I’ve kind of expressed a few different times this year that as as life begins to go again, is that we’re gonna forget the lessons of cultivating an environment cultivating a culture. That is correct. center that is centered on kingdom that is centered on on things that are greater than standing on a platform, right? How do you begin to allow men to to examine their values in a way that they have that same sense of courage? Because when that phone call comes, if you don’t have the values in place, then you’re going to, you’re going to short circuit the system. What would be your encouragement to help men examine the culture, their kingdom? That they’re they’re building, and help them and make that same courageous decision that you’re making? Yeah, yeah, that’s
Morgan Snyder 40:46
a really ontime question. I think I’d say Lance, as I shared earlier, that question of what’s not working? Like? That’s a really brave question. Because Because God is not distant. God is a generous father, the enemy wants to put a spin on it. And evil wants us to be deep seated in our beliefs that God is distant. And he’s unconcerned. Or he’s performance based, when actually what he desires is intimacy, the the atmosphere of his kingdom, his generosity, and the place of scarcity and in courage in a place of fear. And so that question is really important. And I think I remember sitting with a mentor, when I turned 30. And, and I was asking, like, what’s the narrow road? Like, right? How do we recover life? And he started with looking at older math, look at the guys in their 40s, and then the 50s, and then the 60s, and then just ask, where they could take it out? where they could take it out? What are the patterns? What do you notice? Because no man, I was at a beautiful wedding, two days ago, a stunning story of redemption for an older couple. And I realized nobody gets married, anticipating. Right? Like Nobody does that. Like nobody has a child anticipating being estranged from them, when they become teenagers. And yet, story after story, statistically, there’s a better chance of that, and the latter. And so you have, what is it that you want? And how is the trajectory that you’re on going to get you there. And one of the the deep kind of recoveries of wisdom I embodying becoming a king is this mantra live in the day, and measuring the decade, live in the day and measuring the decade, because we so often do the opposite. We live in the decade and measuring the day. And it’s like the stock market. Like if you want to know how the markets doing, don’t look today. 100% unhelpful, right? Because it’s not designed to give you the right information today. And if you go on your app, see the market, it will say, huge rise or massive fall, right? It’ll be one of the two extremes, right? And it’s true. Now look over 10 years, and you’re going to have some sense of direction. And so what I what I have learned to cultivate is a real kindness towards my own soul, a an inquisitive ness to God to say, I don’t want to waste my pain. I don’t want to waste my pain. I want to live in the day to be present to this day and measure in the decade to trust that it has much more to do with direction over the nation that Where is my boat set. It’s like finances. I’ll never forget, we laid out our first budget, we’re driving to Colorado sharing my Ford Explorer. And this was my paycheck like 32 grand and this was our budget. And we had more budget than we had paycheck. I was like, This is not like a big spend, right like, and we had no car payment and we had, you know, small town home. And that’s where we need to go up. But we can sort of fierce mastery over our budget where we began to give and save and spend and, and live with a sort of intention of Kingdom stewardship. And you fast forward over 22 years. And there’s a beautiful financial story in our life. Earthship where we actually were able to afford a small house for our our kids and pay off our mortgage and have zero debt from simply the slow and steady of partnering with God to steward the portion entrusted to our care. And now out of that we’re able to be much more generous with other people. And so, my my invitation to men and to women, but in a very gender specific what is what is it that you want and look at the people around you and what is the path to get there. And the on ramp to the narrow road is often closer than we realize. It’s often in lots of small, very accessible steps. And
for years, I would park my truck at the end of my road, on my way home from work. And I would sit for 60 seconds, because I had little kids at home. And I was going to switch from mission mode at work to mission mode at home. And I wanted to be present. And so that discipline of 60 seconds of God, I give everyone and everything to you, I release my world, I entrust all those people and all those things into your hands. And now I’m turning a gear on turning my heart towards my family, give me your heart, for my wife. And for these kids give me supernatural strength, allow me to be present. And Lance, just that simple act of parking my vehicle for 60 seconds, over a decade, transformed my life. And so there’s always an on ramp. And I unpack a lot of really practical steps in becoming a king and specifically in the study guide. But at the very beginning of that journey, it begins with coming home to the belief that I’m the son, my father is gentle, generous, and he’s very personal, in meeting me where I’m at and helping to create an on ramp that we can do together.
Lantz Howard 46:31
Tons of tons of practical, helpful information. And in essence, right if we can calm down the noise of the world, the anxiety of the world, the fear of the world. And begin just as you share in the 60 seconds, that that live transformation happens in these small steps of obedience. And as we take these small steps of obedience, and do that in the same direction over a period of time. We look back I’m thinking about a client right now that I look back We’ve been walking together for for 10 months. And the things that we were working on now are not anywhere close to where his heart was ready to work on it. At the beginning, yeah, but God has done a good work in him and continues to allow him to grow. And he’s responding to his own obedience based on what God is doing in his life. So I think I think what you’re saying, right just stop the short term anxiety like it’s not gonna happen all in a day and begin to measure our life like you say in the decade that is credibly incredibly helpful. Morgan I’m just humbled and honored by your by your time I mean, there’s there’s so many things that you’ve unpacked and becoming a king you’re a wealth of information at become good soil is calm, it is become good soil calm. I know you’re not on the socials, per se. And I applaud you for that. But what would be your, you know, your your bow on this, if you’re going to try to kind of wrap this up for the men that are listening? What would be your encouragement for guys that are pursuing a wholehearted life? Or as I often say, to champion hope, you know, that champions that the perception of a champion on the outside is built with hope on the inside? What would be your encouragement to the men that have listened this far?
Morgan Snyder 48:43
Yeah, first off the men that are listening and women who love them, I want to say Well done, like, first off, I just want to celebrate you. Way to risk way to invest your time to believe that you’re worth it. You’re worth it, that God is up to something to meet you where you are, to restore every part of you, and jewelry and strength well being and to shepherd you through a path and a process where you can become the kind of man that has nothing to hide, nothing to fear, nothing to prove his paws on that Lance like it. That’s pretty profound. And I’ve had the privilege of walking with men over 20 years and like I’m seeing that left and right, in all sorts of men, all sorts of countries and all sorts of cultures, becoming the kind of men nothing to hide, nothing to fear, and nothing to prove. And so I would invite those men as they’re listening. If there’s one thing you could do right now when this podcast concludes is actually pause. actually, be soft to the next thing. Take 30 seconds 45 seconds, recover your breath, and ask God, what’s one thing? What’s one thing out of this podcast that God’s heart is bringing for you right here right now. And I think if I had to offer one like practical step of all the steps that’s been most formative for me. And I unpack a lot of this and becoming a king of idea. And but I began this practice, when my heart opened up to the possibility that God’s a good father that every day, you know, there’s no ordinary days, anyone with kids, a maid, anyone, you know, is a part of an organization in this world knows, like, there’s no ordinary days, but there’s something that you can do every day, before I get out of bed, before I take a leap, do I pause, and I say in my soul, God, you are my True Father. And I am your son. And I invite you to father me today. And Lance, I have said that every day for over a decade, in what’s so powerful is whatever else happens that day, I used to get out of my bed, racing to catch up, right, I’m already behind. Life is up to me, I need to make it happen. And now I begin every day with the simple act of confessing God, you are a father, and I am your son. And I invite you to father me today. And it changes my orientation to, to not only championing Oh, but receiving confidence because the God of all hope is actually at the epicenter of my life. It’s on his shoulders, not mine. And he can, he can be victorious. And he’s looking for my response. And so I begin every day with that. action, and then I turn towards my day as a son, that has the abundance of a father that’s fighting on his behalf. And it’ll change everything. Oh, man.
Lantz Howard 52:07
Thank you. Thank you for that. Over the last last few moments, maybe this is helpful for someone. You’ve talked a lot about the Son and the father. And I’m thinking about Luke 15. You know, the common story, but may someone hear today, that whether you’re in the house of the Lord, or you’re away from the Lord, that you’ll hear the invitation to come back and restore that relationship to be in union with him. Because everything you need is in the house of the Lord. And once you’ve offered today, Morgan is a great reminder that, that there’s great peace, security and comfort, when we can rest in the house of the Lord. And out of that great courage begins to flow out of our heart. So thank you. I’m honored by you Your presence on your time today.
Morgan Snyder 53:05
Yeah, it’s a joy to partner with you in this. And yeah, I’m really proud of those men out there. And just trust that God is with us. And he is the center of this and he’s the one that’s initiated this work that’s happening among us. So yeah, bless you listeners and I hope to travel more miles with you in the days ahead.