Success became the mask. Intimacy became the casualty.
You’re the dependable one; CEO, founder, business owner — the provider, the leader, the nice Christian man. From the outside, everything looks composed; you’re respected in the boardroom. But the connection with your wife has gone quiet: sex feels obligatory or absent, conversations stay on the surface, kids’ schedules consume your energy at home, and you carry a pressure no one sees. You silently wonder if she even desires you anymore.
The Problem
Avoiding divorce isn’t the goal. A going-through-the-motions marriage isn’t the wholehearted leadership Scripture talks about either.
1
ARTIFICIAL BUOYANCY
Calm and capable in public. Bracing for an eruption in private.
2
THE NICE GUY TRAP
Being agreeable kept the peace — and quietly killed the passion.
3
THE SLOW DRIFT
Not heading for a blow-up — just drifting toward roommates.
The Guide
I’ve sat on both sides of this.
For thousands of hours, I coached high performers and business owners as an executive coach — sharpening their leadership, their teams, their results. Then I saw the pattern: the real pain was never in the boardroom. It was in the bedroom.
Before that, I served as a vocational pastor and trained as a marriage therapist. I know the weight of leading well in public while quietly white-knuckling it at home — and I know the way back to a marriage that’s honest, passionate, and alive.
Wholehearted Leadership Podcast
Coaching conversations about what it actually costs to lead wholeheartedly—and what it takes to do it without losing yourself or marriage in the journey. Guests include peers in my industry, including John Eldredge, Patrick Lencioni, Henry Cloud, and John Delony.
SUBSCRIBE AND LISTENThe Plan
A Clear Path Back to Your Wife.
1
TAKE THE SCAN
.Answer a focused set of questions and get an honest read on where your marriage, intimacy, and leadership actually stand.
2
BOOK A CALL
Optional invitation to walk through your scan together and name what’s really going on — no performance required.
3
DO THE WORK
Step into a private container built for men who refuse to coast — and rebuild intimacy from the inside out.
The Approach
There is no five-step framework that will change your life, marriage, or business.
I ask questions. You speak the truth. Transformational accountability happens. Disciplined impact creates waves.
01 — Identity
You were more than your role before you had one.
Most high performers have never fully separated who they are from what they produce. That’s where this work begins.
02 — Marriage
Your marriage doesn’t need more date nights.
It needs a version of you who shows up present, honest, and unhidden. That kind of intimacy is built — not stumbled into.
03 — Vocation
Leadership shaped by a wholehearted man builds a different legacy.
The work done here ripples into how you lead, love, and show up in every room you walk into.
Keeps me grounded in my God-given identity, focused on building a healthy team, and having a dynamic marriage.
Billy Blackburn
Blackburn Plumbing | Owner
Truly unique – he bridges faith, work, family, and marriage in a way I haven’t experienced before.
Dave DJ Johnson
National Christian Foundation | Former CFO
By becoming a man of my word, I’ve experienced greater connection with my wife and excited about the future.
Wade Denton
FedEx Pilot
Lantz has been my executive coach for over four years. He brings depth to my team and personal leadership.
Hunter Clinton
Chick-fil-A Owner/Operator
The Work
Where the Half-Hearted Don’t Belong.
THE ARENA BROTHERHOOD
An invitation-only mastermind for high performers who want brothers, not bystanders — sharpening one another toward peace, passion, and power at home.
THE YEAR OF TRANSFORMATION
Deep, in-person 1:1 work for the man ready to tell the truth, renew the mind, and live transformed. Discover your true identity and rebuild real intimacy from the inside out. A full year. Fully committed.
THE INTIMACY OS WORKSHOP
Not another framework to forget — your personal operating system for intimacy. A clear, repeatable structure that turns hard-won insight into daily practice, so presence, desire, and connection stop being accidental and start being yours on purpose.
BOOK RELEASE COMING SOON
The High Performer’s Playbook for More Peace, Passion, and Power in Marriage.
A free 30-day email guide for high-performing Christian men ready to stop performing for the world and start showing up for their wife. Daily scripture, coaching insight, and action steps.
DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE BOOK FOR FREE
As a former MLB pitcher for the Texas Rangers, I like to think of about it in terms of baseball. A team is only as good as the team’s leader. Put Lantz on your team and let him lead you.’
Shawn Tolleson
CEO
Coaching helped me see what I couldn’t see. it’s not a lack of ability, it’s unprocessed experiences, misaligned identity, or internal pressure I never addressed.
Shelton Williams
CEO
I needed someone to talk to about leading my wife in this next season of marriage and intimacy,
I made great progress through our time and work together.
Seth Buechley
CEO
What’s at Stake