I had major performance anxiety in our marriage and hidden anger that was stunting my growth and the greatness of our relationship.
I see this in the men I serve: how performance anxiety and emotional numbness (anger) are robbing them of their full potential with their wives.
How can you use anxiety and anger in your marriage for growth?
Anxiety and anger are neither right nor wrong. They are simply signals to your mind and body about desires or fears. They can become an ecosystem for growth.
Here is a four-step framework to use:
1) Learning to hold on to yourself and regulate your emotions is the first step.
2) Embracing the opportunity to uncover what lies beneath these signals will depend on leveraging the strengths within you.
3) Once you believe in yourself and the best version of your marriage, you are now in the driver’s seat of your emotions.
4) Living with integrity moves you to share your anxieties and anger with your spouse, allowing for meaningful confrontation and honesty.
The spouse who navigates and desires growth will be the one who controls the rate of change in the marriage.
May you use your strengths to leverage growth in your marriage and live a wholehearted relationship by confronting the shadows of your anxiety and anger. Once you shine a light into these areas, greatness will begin to rise in both you and your spouse.